When you love someone who is living with Alzheimer’s disease, you often feel alone in your thoughts and feelings. You may wonder if anyone else thinks the same thing or feels the same way.
I hope to reassure you and normalize the thoughts caregivers may have while caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. These are 9 thoughts I had while my mom was living with Alzheimer’s.
1. This is so unfair. Why is this happening to me?
2. She doesn’t deserve this. Why is this happening to her?
3. No one will ever understand what I am going through. I’m all alone.
4. I should be grateful that I still have my mom, but I just want my old mom back.
5. Am I a good daughter? I never feel like I’m doing enough.
6. Why doesn’t this person help out more? They know how hard this is. I shouldn’t have to ask them for help!
7. I just want this to be over with. I don’t know how much more I can take.
8. Oh wait, my mom is actually going to die from this someday. I don’t ever want that day to come!
9. As hard as this is now, I know I will miss it when it’s gone. I know I will miss her when she’s gone. I should just try to make the most of however much time I have left with her.
I hope that you could see the evolution of my thoughts as you read through them. It took me a long time to get to that last one, but with my help, I hope you will get there much sooner!
*If this post resonated with you, you should check out my mentoring services for Alzheimer’s daughters.
**If you liked this post, you would love my book “When Only Love Remains: Surviving My Mom’s Battle with Early Onset Alzheimer’s.” It’s available on all Amazon marketplaces.
I am so glad I found this blog. My name is Annita and I am from Indonesia. My mom just diagnosed from Dementia in the late 2020. She declines so fast in just 1 year. She cannot bathe herself or use the restroom on her own now. Sometimes she has accidents all over the bed room. I really need a friend to talk to about my mom’s situation. My dad takes care of my mom now, i took care of mom last year but I am 5 months pregnant and i have 2 toddlers,so I can’t take all the stress, toilet drama and sleepless nights. I am the only daughter in the family, i have 4 brothers. My eldest brother lives in Canada,which is thousand miles away. My other brothers work and live in different island.
I feel sorry for my dad,he just recovered from diabetic foot ulcer 4 months ago and now he has to take care of mom. We hired caregivers but my mom becomes so jealousy , she yelled and scolded at them,so they gave up and left. My husband thinks that I am not the only child in the family, other siblings or mom’s relatives need to take responsibilities and our family shouldn’t be victimized, meaning all the burdens are thrown into us. He hates to listen about the situation when I just want to pour out my burden, just to live the burden a little bit. I dont know who to talk to. I hate when people so judgmental when they hear stories of mom. People would think this disease causes by her sins,etc. He thinks that our family are so ungrateful, selfish and our problems always become the center of attention. I dont know how to deal with my feelings right now, i become so emotionals i would throw cups or anything if noone wont take time to understand me.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I understand how you feel. It’s heartbreaking to watch a parent go through this and the other parent care for them. I felt so alone when I was going through it, but there are many others who understand your pain. I hope you’ll follow me on Facebook and Instagram to help you feel less alone. Sending love and hugs!
Reblogged this on The Memories Project and commented:
I can relate to these thoughts when it came to my dad’s journey with Alzheimer’s. If you are struggling as a dementia caregiver, know that these thoughts are common, so don’t judge yourself harshly.