I’m back! My husband and I had a beautiful (and much-needed) vacation visiting the Grand Canyon and Sedona. We did a lot and saw a lot of amazing views along the way.
While I fully enjoyed myself and didn’t feel guilty about anything, I thought about my mom a lot. Many times as I was taking in the views, I thought to myself, “If only my mom could be here to see this. She would love it.”
My mom never went hiking in the Grand Canyon or climbing the red rocks in Sedona. Truthfully, that’s not something she would have liked to do anyway. But there are so many things she would have loved to do that she never got the chance to do and that makes me sad—really sad.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately—thinking about her a lot lately—especially since yesterday marked 18 months since she passed away. I still think about her every day. I still get sad at random points throughout the day. I still get emotional talking about her sometimes.
But upon all of my reflection—which has been a ton—I know one thing to be true more than anything else. She wouldn’t want me to miss out.
Not because of what we went through.
Not because she’s gone.
Not because I’m sad.
Not for any reason.
She would want me to live my life to the fullest every moment of every day.
Take the trip.
Do the thing.
Live this life.
We never know when it will be taken from us.
* If this post resonated with you, I can help you find ways to manage your grief. Check out my new mentoring services for Alzheimer’s daughters.
** If you liked this post, you will love my new book “When Only Love Remains: Surviving My Mom’s Battle with Early Onset Alzheimer’s.” It’s available on all Amazon marketplaces.
Hi Lauren. I so get it. It’s been just 13 months since my mom died. My husband I just moved into a townhouse and have sold our house. It’s been exhausting and exciting and I feel my mom with us all the way. She was always the first person I’d call to tell my news and I miss that so much. She helped us move into and paint our home 25 years ago and I know she’d be so excited for us in this next journey. But caring for her has changed me in ways I’d never imagined. I’m so much more flexible now, allowing myself to have some fun and not as rigid with my “have to” list.
Mom always, always put my happiness first. I know she’d be proud of me. And yours would be so proud of you and all those you continue to help.
Judy
Judy, thank you so much for your kind words. I, too, have become more flexible and less rigid. You definitely learn a lot from this disease.