Growing up, I remember always teasing my dad about failing American History in high school and having to repeat his senior year. I’m not sure I ever knew the full story or if I did, I never fully appreciated it until recently. My dad’s mom died when he was only sixteen years old. Such an … Continue reading Sometimes a Setback Is Really Just a Setup
When I would tell someone my mom had Alzheimer’s, the first thing they usually asked was, “Does she know who you are?” There was a time when I could confidently answer, “Yes, she does.” People always seemed so relieved to hear that. “Oh, that’s good!” While it was good that my mom still knew who … Continue reading My Mom Didn’t Know Who I Was, But She Knew Me Better Than Anyone Else Ever Will
Early on in my mom’s Alzheimer’s, I would pick her up at her house and take her out somewhere. We would mostly go out to lunch or shopping, but sometimes we got our hair done or went to the movies. As much as I enjoyed spending time with my mom, I often found myself frustrated … Continue reading The Wake-Up Call I Needed About Being Patient With My Mom
(The post below was written on July 4, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My mom died three months ago today. I know I say this all the time, but it still doesn’t seem possible. It doesn’t seem real. It feels like it was yesterday, but also like it’s been a million years. … Continue reading It Wasn’t All Bad. We Had Some Good Times, Too.
(The post below was written on July 1, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My dad and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch yesterday. I can’t even count the number of birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, going aways, and welcome homes we’ve celebrated at this restaurant. In … Continue reading We Are Sad and We Miss My Mom, But She Is Better Off
(The post below was written on June 20, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) A while back, I found these notes in the desk at my mom and dad’s house. It looks like my mom wrote them in late 2012, which was just over two years into her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. They are just … Continue reading What My Mom’s Notes Taught Me About Her Love
(The post below was written on May 28, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) “I feel like I’m not myself right now. I don’t even know what that is. I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore.” I said these words to my husband this morning. And I meant them. … Continue reading I Lost Myself to My Mom’s Alzheimer’s
(The post below was written on May 23, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) Yesterday I was at my parents’ house helping my dad out with a few things. I went into the master bedroom to get something and I saw these shoes sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. … Continue reading She’s Never Coming Back to Get Her Shoes, But I Still Can’t Let Them Go
(The post below was written on May 19, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) One thing I see over and over again on social media, especially in support groups, is how devastating it is when your loved one doesn’t know who you are anymore. I vividly remember the first time my mom looked … Continue reading I Felt Closer to My Mom When She No Longer Knew Who I Was
(The post below was written on May 15, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) On this day ten years ago, my mom was not only alive, but we didn’t even know she had Alzheimer’s yet. My husband and I were not even engaged yet, let alone married. We didn’t even own a house … Continue reading Isn’t Life Always Uncertain?