My Grief Is a Reminder of My Love

Sometimes I forget that I’m still grieving. As I write these words, I hate my use of the word “still.” Of course, I’m “still” grieving. I always will be. You don’t simply stop grieving the loss of your mom one day. It goes on and on. Anyway, sometimes I forget. I wake up feeling sad … Continue reading My Grief Is a Reminder of My Love

My Mom Is Still With Me

A few years ago, I took a few of my mom’s holiday decorations to put out at my house. This was my mom’s musical snowman figurine. She put it out every Christmas. I remember it well from when I was growing up and it’s in the background of many old family photos. It has to … Continue reading My Mom Is Still With Me

My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us

(This post was written on January 24, 2021.) Today is my mom’s birthday. It’s the first one since she died. She would have been 73 today. We had a little birthday party for her yesterday with party hats and horns and a carrot cake, which was my mom’s favorite. It was a nice day, but … Continue reading My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us

This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me

2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me

Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too

Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss taking care of your loved one. That you’re going to miss feeding them and helping them use the bathroom. That you’re going to miss helping them stand up and pushing them down the street in their wheelchair. Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss the long, … Continue reading Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too

My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday

Nothing has taught me more about the passage of time than my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s. Over the past ten years, I have been amazed by time’s ability to both stand still and fly by at the exact same time. I always thought about that saying, “The days are long, but the years are short.” … Continue reading My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday