Sometimes I forget that I’m still grieving. As I write these words, I hate my use of the word “still.” Of course, I’m “still” grieving. I always will be. You don’t simply stop grieving the loss of your mom one day. It goes on and on. Anyway, sometimes I forget. I wake up feeling sad … Continue reading My Grief Is a Reminder of My Love
Tag: mom’s death
My Mom Is Still With Me
A few years ago, I took a few of my mom’s holiday decorations to put out at my house. This was my mom’s musical snowman figurine. She put it out every Christmas. I remember it well from when I was growing up and it’s in the background of many old family photos. It has to … Continue reading My Mom Is Still With Me
My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
(This post was written on January 24, 2021.) Today is my mom’s birthday. It’s the first one since she died. She would have been 73 today. We had a little birthday party for her yesterday with party hats and horns and a carrot cake, which was my mom’s favorite. It was a nice day, but … Continue reading My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
My First Birthday Without My Mom
I cried on my 30th birthday after I called my parents and neither one of them mentioned it. I was living far away at the time, so I couldn’t see them. And although my dad had texted me “Happy Birthday” that morning and sent me a card, I was crushed that neither one of them … Continue reading My First Birthday Without My Mom
This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
On this day last year, my husband and I left Florida to move back closer to home. Florida never felt like home to me and I desperately wanted to be closer to my mom again. I was miserable and depressed the entire time we lived there. I basically just lived one visit home to the … Continue reading I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss taking care of your loved one. That you’re going to miss feeding them and helping them use the bathroom. That you’re going to miss helping them stand up and pushing them down the street in their wheelchair. Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss the long, … Continue reading Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to have one of our favorite home videos converted to a DVD to give to my dad and my sister for Christmas. I picked it up last week when it was ready and couldn’t wait to watch it later that night while my husband was at work. “Christmas … Continue reading Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
We Can Feel Everything All At Once
One thing I have learned from my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s is that we have the ability to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time. We can feel both happy and sad. We can feel both excitement and dread. We can feel both joy and pain. We can feel both gratitude and grief. And … Continue reading We Can Feel Everything All At Once
My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday
Nothing has taught me more about the passage of time than my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s. Over the past ten years, I have been amazed by time’s ability to both stand still and fly by at the exact same time. I always thought about that saying, “The days are long, but the years are short.” … Continue reading My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday
