"I'm not an expert on Alzheimer's disease, but I am an expert on loving someone who has it." – Lauren Dykovitz
I see you, Alzheimer’s Daughter, trying to smile through the pain. I know how much it hurts. You feel as if both of your parents have just disappeared, vanished into some other world. Alzheimer’s World. They are gone forever. Only they’re not really gone. They’re still alive and, maybe, they live just a few miles … Continue reading I See You, Alzheimer’s Daughter
I felt so guilty living my life while my mom was suffering from Alzheimer’s and my dad was overwhelmed with her care that I just simply stopped living my life. I still feel guilty that I didn’t have to take care of her from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to … Continue reading Punishing Yourself for Your Loved One’s Suffering Won’t Do Anyone Any Good
“Am I doing enough?” I can’t tell you how many times I asked myself that question when my mom was living with Alzheimer’s. I asked my husband constantly, too, as if he would have ever told me that I wasn’t. If you love someone with Alzheimer’s, I’m sure you can relate. But I’m going to … Continue reading Enough Is an Impossible Standard
She got so upset with me for putting up the Christmas tree. She kept insisting that was something she and my dad were supposed to do together. I was just trying to do something nice for my mom and I wanted to keep it simple so my dad didn’t have to worry about taking down … Continue reading Your Loved One with Alzheimer’s Deserves to Be Loved
Before my mom had Alzheimer’s, I never had to help her get dressed. I never had to help her use the bathroom. I never had to cut up her food for her so she could eat it. I never had to hold her hand when walking through a crowded room or down the street. I … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Took So Much From Us, But I Am Grateful For What It Gave Us
Back when I was a caregiver for my mom, one of our favorite things to do was get our hair done and then have lunch at Saladworks. We did this every couple of months and as time went on, it got harder and harder to do. She began having difficulty getting in and out of … Continue reading Nothing Is Worth Embarrassing Your Loved One
Early on in my mom’s Alzheimer’s, I would pick her up at her house and take her out somewhere. We would mostly go out to lunch or shopping, but sometimes we got our hair done or went to the movies. As much as I enjoyed spending time with my mom, I often found myself frustrated … Continue reading The Wake-Up Call I Needed About Being Patient With My Mom
It has been 4 months today since my mom died. I say this all the time, but it still doesn’t seem real. It feels like it was both yesterday and a lifetime ago. In some ways, it was a lifetime ago. A different life back then, a different me. I still feel so lost. I … Continue reading You Can’t Wait to Live in the After. You Have to Live in the Now.
Your decisions as a caregiver do not cause your loved one to decline. The disease causes your loved one to decline. We had a very hard time making certain decisions for my mom’s care. Looking back and reflecting on those decisions has allowed me to see that making those decisions was not the cause of … Continue reading Your Decisions As a Caregiver Do Not Cause Your Loved One to Decline. Alzheimer’s Does.
(The post below was written on July 4, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My mom died three months ago today. I know I say this all the time, but it still doesn’t seem possible. It doesn’t seem real. It feels like it was yesterday, but also like it’s been a million years. … Continue reading It Wasn’t All Bad. We Had Some Good Times, Too.