Do you ever notice how your Christmas tree looks a little different after Christmas Day? Do you ever notice how the Christmas lights look a little dimmer once the holidays have passed? Almost like they’ve lost their magic now that all the excitement is over. Do you ever notice how the new calendar year never … Continue reading What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
I set out to go for a short run in my neighborhood this morning. The weather was pretty gloomy, as it has been for the last few days, but I opted to run outside because I knew I needed it. This year has been heavy for everyone for many reasons, but for me it has … Continue reading It’s Okay to Go Slow and Do What Feels Familiar
Dear Mom, It has been six months today since you passed away. There are still times when I think about you or look at a picture of you and I have to remind myself that you’re gone. It just doesn’t seem possible. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that you … Continue reading Six Months Without You
We moved into our new house six months ago today. My mom passed away six months ago tomorrow. It’s hard to believe that much time has gone by. It all feels like just yesterday. It has been a challenging six months, but I have gotten through it. Although there are still days when I feel … Continue reading Little Things I Do Every Day to Cope With Grief
How many times have you heard someone say, “My loved one died. Well, she was sick and we knew it was coming, but still...”? Why do we feel the need to offer that explanation? Why do we feel the need to minimize our loss by saying that it was expected? Why do we diminish our … Continue reading We Need to Stop Minimizing the Grief of an Expected Loss
Growing up, I remember always teasing my dad about failing American History in high school and having to repeat his senior year. I’m not sure I ever knew the full story or if I did, I never fully appreciated it until recently. My dad’s mom died when he was only sixteen years old. Such an … Continue reading Sometimes a Setback Is Really Just a Setup
It has been 4 months today since my mom died. I say this all the time, but it still doesn’t seem real. It feels like it was both yesterday and a lifetime ago. In some ways, it was a lifetime ago. A different life back then, a different me. I still feel so lost. I … Continue reading You Can’t Wait to Live in the After. You Have to Live in the Now.
(The post below was written on July 4, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My mom died three months ago today. I know I say this all the time, but it still doesn’t seem possible. It doesn’t seem real. It feels like it was yesterday, but also like it’s been a million years. … Continue reading It Wasn’t All Bad. We Had Some Good Times, Too.
(The post below was written on July 1, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My dad and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch yesterday. I can’t even count the number of birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, going aways, and welcome homes we’ve celebrated at this restaurant. In … Continue reading We Are Sad and We Miss My Mom, But She Is Better Off