One year. It doesn’t seem possible. I’ve learned so much since the day you died. I’ve grown so much, too. I’ve learned to cherish the little things that bring me joy, but also not to sweat the small stuff. I’ve learned that life is short and precious and best spent pouring love into those you … Continue reading On the First Anniversary of My Mom’s Death
Tag: grief
I’m Grateful to My Husband for One Last Day With My Mom
On this day last year, my husband and I were all set to move into our new house. We were supposed to meet the movers at our storage unit to load up the truck and then take everything to the new house to unload it. Our busy moving schedule meant that I would have to … Continue reading I’m Grateful to My Husband for One Last Day With My Mom
I Am Ready for New Life One Year After My Mom’s Death
I was talking to my sister the other day about the upcoming first anniversary of our mom’s death, which happens to fall on Easter this year. My sister said that at first she was sad that Mom’s anniversary is the same day as Easter. She said Easter is supposed to be a happy day with … Continue reading I Am Ready for New Life One Year After My Mom’s Death
Lilies Take Me Back to When My Mom Was Dying
My husband and I were shopping at the grocery store yesterday. They had tons of Easter flowers. There were tulips, hyacinths, and lilies. As soon as I saw the lilies, I knew I had to say something. “If you’re going to buy me flowers for Easter, please don’t get me lilies.” I love lilies. I … Continue reading Lilies Take Me Back to When My Mom Was Dying
Signs From My Mom Remind Me That All of My Memories Bring Her Back to Me
Sitting there in the waiting room last week while my dad had his heart procedure, it struck me how everyone was there for someone they love, someone they care for. The hospital referred to each of us as a “support person” and there we all sat, supporting and caring for someone we love, while anxiously … Continue reading Signs From My Mom Remind Me That All of My Memories Bring Her Back to Me
Caring for My Dad Triggers My Grief, But Reminds Me That I’m Not Alone
Last week, my dad had a heart procedure done at the hospital. I anxiously waited for hours in the waiting room, the way you do when your only surviving parent is having a heart procedure done. Finally, my dad’s doctor came into the waiting room to tell me that everything went smoothly and my dad … Continue reading Caring for My Dad Triggers My Grief, But Reminds Me That I’m Not Alone
My Grief Is a Reminder of My Love
Sometimes I forget that I’m still grieving. As I write these words, I hate my use of the word “still.” Of course, I’m “still” grieving. I always will be. You don’t simply stop grieving the loss of your mom one day. It goes on and on. Anyway, sometimes I forget. I wake up feeling sad … Continue reading My Grief Is a Reminder of My Love
My Mom Is Still With Me
A few years ago, I took a few of my mom’s holiday decorations to put out at my house. This was my mom’s musical snowman figurine. She put it out every Christmas. I remember it well from when I was growing up and it’s in the background of many old family photos. It has to … Continue reading My Mom Is Still With Me
Hardship Is Not a Competition
I often felt guilty complaining about my situation when I knew there were so many people who had it worse. At the same time, I often felt resentful of all the people I knew who had it better. What I failed to realize is that it’s not a competition. Caregiving is not a competition. Hardship … Continue reading Hardship Is Not a Competition
My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
(This post was written on January 24, 2021.) Today is my mom’s birthday. It’s the first one since she died. She would have been 73 today. We had a little birthday party for her yesterday with party hats and horns and a carrot cake, which was my mom’s favorite. It was a nice day, but … Continue reading My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us