A few years ago, I took a few of my mom’s holiday decorations to put out at my house. This was my mom’s musical snowman figurine. She put it out every Christmas. I remember it well from when I was growing up and it’s in the background of many old family photos. It has to … Continue reading My Mom Is Still With Me
Tag: grief
Hardship Is Not a Competition
I often felt guilty complaining about my situation when I knew there were so many people who had it worse. At the same time, I often felt resentful of all the people I knew who had it better. What I failed to realize is that it’s not a competition. Caregiving is not a competition. Hardship … Continue reading Hardship Is Not a Competition
My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
(This post was written on January 24, 2021.) Today is my mom’s birthday. It’s the first one since she died. She would have been 73 today. We had a little birthday party for her yesterday with party hats and horns and a carrot cake, which was my mom’s favorite. It was a nice day, but … Continue reading My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
My First Birthday Without My Mom
I cried on my 30th birthday after I called my parents and neither one of them mentioned it. I was living far away at the time, so I couldn’t see them. And although my dad had texted me “Happy Birthday” that morning and sent me a card, I was crushed that neither one of them … Continue reading My First Birthday Without My Mom
Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
I spent a lot of time during my mom’s illness just wishing things could go back to the way they were. I mainly focused on what I had lost and I just wanted my mom to go back to the way she was before she got sick. At some point, it hit me. “Oh wait, … Continue reading Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
Do you ever notice how your Christmas tree looks a little different after Christmas Day? Do you ever notice how the Christmas lights look a little dimmer once the holidays have passed? Almost like they’ve lost their magic now that all the excitement is over. Do you ever notice how the new calendar year never … Continue reading What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
On this day last year, my husband and I left Florida to move back closer to home. Florida never felt like home to me and I desperately wanted to be closer to my mom again. I was miserable and depressed the entire time we lived there. I basically just lived one visit home to the … Continue reading I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss taking care of your loved one. That you’re going to miss feeding them and helping them use the bathroom. That you’re going to miss helping them stand up and pushing them down the street in their wheelchair. Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss the long, … Continue reading Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to have one of our favorite home videos converted to a DVD to give to my dad and my sister for Christmas. I picked it up last week when it was ready and couldn’t wait to watch it later that night while my husband was at work. “Christmas … Continue reading Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
