(The post below was written on February 7, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I’ve been living in a fog of grief. Every day is hazier than the day before. I have been feeling so isolated, so disconnected from the rest of the world. Everyone is out there living life, going places, doing … Continue reading Living in a Fog of Grief
Tag: grief
Alzheimer’s Care Through A Child’s Eyes
(The post below was written on February 4, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My 3 1/2-year-old niece took this photo last week. She picked up my phone and started pretending to take pictures, or at least I thought she was pretending because the screen was locked. It wasn’t until later that I … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Care Through A Child’s Eyes
I’m Exactly Where I’m Supposed to Be
(The post below was written on January 28, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I just turned 35 years old. I haven’t had a real job in almost seven years. Not because I’m a stay-at-home mom. Not because I’m having babies and raising children. Not because I’m disabled or sick or unable to … Continue reading I’m Exactly Where I’m Supposed to Be
Changes, Chaos, and Grief
(The post below was written on January 20, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) There has been a lot of change in the last two weeks or so. In short, we are beginning to prepare for the end. Then again, aren’t we always? It seemed as though my mom was plateauing for a … Continue reading Changes, Chaos, and Grief
The First Day Without Her
I have been meaning to update my blog for a while now. If you follow me on social media, then you already know, but I wanted to give an update for those who don’t. My mom passed away about three months ago, on April 4, 2020, after a ten-year battle with Alzheimer’s. She had been … Continue reading The First Day Without Her
“Limbo” by Sandy Patton
Limbo Written by Sandy Patton and shared with permission Standing in her doorway, I feel the familiar angst. I clear my throat, swallowing hard against the flood of tears that, on most days, threatens to escape my eyes, now awash in sadness, exhaustion, hopelessness. I’ve tried hard to brighten Mom’s small room with … Continue reading “Limbo” by Sandy Patton
Here’s to All the Heavy Hearts This Holiday Season
Here’s to all the heavy hearts this holiday season. The hearts that are breaking and bleeding. The hearts that are grieving the loss of the living or the deceased. The hearts that not only have an empty seat at the table, but an empty space within them, one that can never be filled. Here’s to … Continue reading Here’s to All the Heavy Hearts This Holiday Season
To Both Love and Grieve Means to Live a Full Life
I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. Death and grief and the impending doom of losing my mom. (Yeah, I know. I’m super fun these days.) I’ve also been thinking a lot about how much my mom’s Alzheimer’s has affected me; how much it has changed me. I often ask myself why my mom’s … Continue reading To Both Love and Grieve Means to Live a Full Life
And Yet, I Am Grateful
I will never know what it’s like to see my mom’s car pull up to my house. I will never know what it’s like to group text with my mom and my sister. My mom will never buy me another Christmas present or birthday card. She will never call me on my birthday to sing … Continue reading And Yet, I Am Grateful
My Mom’s Alzheimer’s Is About Her, Not Me
For a long time, I used to think about my mom’s Alzheimer’s mostly in terms of how it affected me. How sad it was that she was diagnosed so young, when I was only 25 years old. How sad it was for me to lose my mom this way. How sad it was that there … Continue reading My Mom’s Alzheimer’s Is About Her, Not Me
