The morning my mom died, I rode in the passenger seat of my own car as my husband drove us to my parents’ house. We had just moved into a new house in a new area the day before, so we had to use the GPS to get there. We also had to bring our … Continue reading You Cannot Control the Timing of Your Loved One’s Death
Your decisions as a caregiver do not cause your loved one to decline. The disease causes your loved one to decline. We had a very hard time making certain decisions for my mom’s care. Looking back and reflecting on those decisions has allowed me to see that making those decisions was not the cause of … Continue reading Your Decisions As a Caregiver Do Not Cause Your Loved One to Decline. Alzheimer’s Does.
(The post below was written on July 1, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My dad and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch yesterday. I can’t even count the number of birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, going aways, and welcome homes we’ve celebrated at this restaurant. In … Continue reading We Are Sad and We Miss My Mom, But She Is Better Off
(The post below was written on May 21, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) This Saturday will mark seven weeks since my mom passed. It is still so hard to believe. Life is weird, but death is weirder. I get it. I know what it means. I understand. But it is still so … Continue reading I’m Not Moving On, But I’m Moving Forward
(The post below was written on May 19, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) One thing I see over and over again on social media, especially in support groups, is how devastating it is when your loved one doesn’t know who you are anymore. I vividly remember the first time my mom looked … Continue reading I Felt Closer to My Mom When She No Longer Knew Who I Was
(The post below was written on April 18, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I’m still here. I’m still struggling. I cannot believe it’s already been two weeks since my mom passed away. I planned on waking up so I could stare at my phone at 7:01 this morning to honor the moment … Continue reading You Grieve So Hard Because You Love So Hard
(The post below was written on April 14, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) The last few days have been rough. Now that my mom’s service is over, I feel like the reality of her being gone is setting in. It feels like everything over the last ten years is hitting me all … Continue reading When Your Loved One Dies, You Don’t Just Grieve the Death. You Grieve the Journey.
(The post below was written on March 12, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) Almost exactly two months ago, I went to my parents’ house and realized that everything had changed. My mom and dad had a really bad week and it showed. It was evident that my mom had taken a sharp … Continue reading I Can’t Believe We’re Still Here. I Can’t Believe We’re Still Doing This.
(The post below was written on March 6, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) When I pulled up to my mom’s house yesterday, I thought to myself, “This sucks.” I would give anything to walk in there and see her standing in the kitchen. I would give anything to walk in there and … Continue reading You’re Going to Miss This One Day
(The post below was written on February 7, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I’ve been living in a fog of grief. Every day is hazier than the day before. I have been feeling so isolated, so disconnected from the rest of the world. Everyone is out there living life, going places, doing … Continue reading Living in a Fog of Grief