You Cannot Control the Timing of Your Loved One’s Death

The morning my mom died, I rode in the passenger seat of my own car as my husband drove us to my parents’ house. His car was in the shop, so we had to take mine. We had just moved into a new house in a new area the day before, so we had to … Continue reading You Cannot Control the Timing of Your Loved One’s Death →

You Grieve So Hard Because You Love So Hard

(The post below was written on April 18, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I’m still here. I’m still struggling. I cannot believe it’s already been two weeks since my mom passed away. I planned on waking up so I could stare at my phone at 7:01 this morning to honor the moment … Continue reading You Grieve So Hard Because You Love So Hard →

When Your Loved One Dies, You Don’t Just Grieve the Death. You Grieve the Journey.

(The post below was written on April 14, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) The last few days have been rough. Now that my mom’s service is over, I feel like the reality of her being gone is setting in. It feels like everything over the last ten years is hitting me all … Continue reading When Your Loved One Dies, You Don’t Just Grieve the Death. You Grieve the Journey. →

I Can’t Believe We’re Still Here. I Can’t Believe We’re Still Doing This.

(The post below was written on March 12, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) Almost exactly two months ago, I went to my parents’ house and realized that everything had changed. My mom and dad had a really bad week and it showed. It was evident that my mom had taken a sharp … Continue reading I Can’t Believe We’re Still Here. I Can’t Believe We’re Still Doing This. →

You’re Going to Miss This One Day

(The post below was written on March 6, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) When I pulled up to my mom’s house yesterday, I thought to myself, “This sucks.” I would give anything to walk in there and see her standing in the kitchen. I would give anything to walk in there and … Continue reading You’re Going to Miss This One Day →

Living in a Fog of Grief

(The post below was written on February 7, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I’ve been living in a fog of grief. Every day is hazier than the day before. I have been feeling so isolated, so disconnected from the rest of the world. Everyone is out there living life, going places, doing … Continue reading Living in a Fog of Grief →

Alzheimer’s Care Through A Child’s Eyes

(The post below was written on February 4, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) My 3 1/2-year-old niece took this photo last week. She picked up my phone and started pretending to take pictures, or at least I thought she was pretending because the screen was locked. It wasn’t until later that I … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Care Through A Child’s Eyes →

I’m Exactly Where I’m Supposed to Be

(The post below was written on January 28, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I just turned 35 years old. I haven’t had a real job in almost seven years. Not because I’m a stay-at-home mom. Not because I’m having babies and raising children. Not because I’m disabled or sick or unable to … Continue reading I’m Exactly Where I’m Supposed to Be →

Celebrating Mom’s Last Birthday

(The post below was written on January 23, 2020, the day before what would be my mom’s last birthday. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I went to the grocery store earlier today to get a cake, candles, balloons, and a card for my mom’s birthday tomorrow. I selected everything carefully. I even had … Continue reading Celebrating Mom’s Last Birthday →

Changes, Chaos, and Grief

(The post below was written on January 20, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) There has been a lot of change in the last two weeks or so. In short, we are beginning to prepare for the end. Then again, aren’t we always? It seemed as though my mom was plateauing for a … Continue reading Changes, Chaos, and Grief →