Back when I was a caregiver for my mom, one of our favorite things to do was get our hair done and then have lunch at Saladworks. We did this every couple of months and as time went on, it got harder and harder to do. She began having difficulty getting in and out of … Continue reading Nothing Is Worth Embarrassing Your Loved One
Tag: dementia caregiver
Punishing Yourself for Your Loved One’s Suffering Won’t Do Anyone Any Good
I felt so guilty living my life while my mom was suffering from Alzheimer’s and my dad was overwhelmed with her care that I just simply stopped living my life. I still feel guilty that I didn’t have to take care of her from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to … Continue reading Punishing Yourself for Your Loved One’s Suffering Won’t Do Anyone Any Good
Your Childhood Home Changes When One of Your Parents Dies
I spent the past week at my parents’ house helping my dad recover from his hip replacement surgery. While I was prepared to cook, clean, and do laundry for him, I was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that came with it. My dad does not have Alzheimer’s or dementia, but in some ways … Continue reading Your Childhood Home Changes When One of Your Parents Dies
Alzheimer’s Took My Mom’s Life. The Pandemic Took Her Funeral.
If you were only allowed to have ten people at your mother’s funeral, who would you pick? How would you decide? Could you decide at all? Imagine having to call those ten people to invite them to your mother’s funeral. Imagine the backlash you would receive from the family members who weren’t invited. Imagine there … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Took My Mom’s Life. The Pandemic Took Her Funeral.
We Need to Stop Minimizing the Grief of an Expected Loss
How many times have you heard someone say, “My loved one died. Well, she was sick and we knew it was coming, but still...”? Why do we feel the need to offer that explanation? Why do we feel the need to minimize our loss by saying that it was expected? Why do we diminish our … Continue reading We Need to Stop Minimizing the Grief of an Expected Loss
Sometimes a Setback Is Really Just a Setup
Growing up, I remember always teasing my dad about failing American History in high school and having to repeat his senior year. I’m not sure I ever knew the full story or if I did, I never fully appreciated it until recently. My dad’s mom died when he was only sixteen years old. Such an … Continue reading Sometimes a Setback Is Really Just a Setup
My Mom Didn’t Know Who I Was, But She Knew Me Better Than Anyone Else Ever Will
When I would tell someone my mom had Alzheimer’s, the first thing they usually asked was, “Does she know who you are?” There was a time when I could confidently answer, “Yes, she does.” People always seemed so relieved to hear that. “Oh, that’s good!” While it was good that my mom still knew who … Continue reading My Mom Didn’t Know Who I Was, But She Knew Me Better Than Anyone Else Ever Will
You Cannot Control the Timing of Your Loved One’s Death
The morning my mom died, I rode in the passenger seat of my own car as my husband drove us to my parents’ house. His car was in the shop, so we had to take mine. We had just moved into a new house in a new area the day before, so we had to … Continue reading You Cannot Control the Timing of Your Loved One’s Death
This Journey Requires A Delicate Balance of Grief and Gratitude
You are losing your loved one right before your eyes and each day is a constant battle between grieving that loss and trying to cherish the time you have left with your loved one. I get it. I’ve been there. When people ask me how I dealt with the pain of slowly losing my mom, … Continue reading This Journey Requires A Delicate Balance of Grief and Gratitude
The Wake-Up Call I Needed About Being Patient With My Mom
Early on in my mom’s Alzheimer’s, I would pick her up at her house and take her out somewhere. We would mostly go out to lunch or shopping, but sometimes we got our hair done or went to the movies. As much as I enjoyed spending time with my mom, I often found myself frustrated … Continue reading The Wake-Up Call I Needed About Being Patient With My Mom
