I spent the past week at my parents’ house helping my dad recover from his hip replacement surgery. While I was prepared to cook, clean, and do laundry for him, I was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that came with it. My dad does not have Alzheimer’s or dementia, but in some ways … Continue reading Your Childhood Home Changes When One of Your Parents Dies
If you were only allowed to have ten people at your mother’s funeral, who would you pick? How would you decide? Could you decide at all? Imagine having to call those ten people to invite them to your mother’s funeral. Imagine the backlash you would receive from the family members who weren’t invited. Imagine there … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Took My Mom’s Life. The Pandemic Took Her Funeral.
How many times have you heard someone say, “My loved one died. Well, she was sick and we knew it was coming, but still...”? Why do we feel the need to offer that explanation? Why do we feel the need to minimize our loss by saying that it was expected? Why do we diminish our … Continue reading We Need to Stop Minimizing the Grief of an Expected Loss
The morning my mom died, I rode in the passenger seat of my own car as my husband drove us to my parents’ house. His car was in the shop, so we had to take mine. We had just moved into a new house in a new area the day before, so we had to … Continue reading You Cannot Control the Timing of Your Loved One’s Death
(The post below was written on January 13, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) Friday was a rough day. My mom’s regular aide was out all week taking care of her own mom. The agency failed to send a replacement on Tuesday and Wednesday, so my dad was on his own. Since I … Continue reading The Beginning of the Final Decline
I have been meaning to update my blog for a while now. If you follow me on social media, then you already know, but I wanted to give an update for those who don’t. My mom passed away about three months ago, on April 4, 2020, after a ten-year battle with Alzheimer’s. She had been … Continue reading The First Day Without Her
My dad had an appointment with a funeral home director a couple of weeks ago. I remember him mentioning something to me, but I didn’t know he had made an appointment or when it was. At the time, I didn’t even think to tell him to wait for me to come home so I could … Continue reading You Can Do Hard Things Out of Love