I cried on my 30th birthday after I called my parents and neither one of them mentioned it. I was living far away at the time, so I couldn’t see them. And although my dad had texted me “Happy Birthday” that morning and sent me a card, I was crushed that neither one of them … Continue reading My First Birthday Without My Mom
Tag: death
My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday
Nothing has taught me more about the passage of time than my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s. Over the past ten years, I have been amazed by time’s ability to both stand still and fly by at the exact same time. I always thought about that saying, “The days are long, but the years are short.” … Continue reading My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday
When It’s Over, It’s Over
This is probably the most vulnerable and transparent thing I have ever said on this platform, so please be kind. When I was at my deepest, darkest, lowest point of my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s, I would actually get a little bit jealous when someone else’s loved one passed away. Not because I didn’t love … Continue reading When It’s Over, It’s Over
My Mom’s World Got Bigger When She Died
After my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, her world became increasingly smaller. It started with losing her ability to drive. She could no longer go out anywhere unless someone else was able to take her. Since my dad was still working full-time, she would have to wait until he got home from work or had … Continue reading My Mom’s World Got Bigger When She Died
I Can’t Stop Thinking About Death Since My Mom Died
I often wonder if the average person thinks about death as often as I do. If someone doesn’t answer the phone or respond to a text right away, I think they must have died. If one of my dogs starts coughing or making a weird noise, I think they must be dying. I am well-aware … Continue reading I Can’t Stop Thinking About Death Since My Mom Died
I Am Dreading the Months Leading Up to the First Anniversary of My Mom’s Death
Last week I wrote a post about how I’m actually feeling excited about the holiday season in spite of it being the first one without my mom. That’s all real and true. I’m not dreading the holidays at all this year. I’m actually really excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But there’s something else that’s been … Continue reading I Am Dreading the Months Leading Up to the First Anniversary of My Mom’s Death
Embracing Both Grief and Joy This Holiday Season
The other day I was telling my husband that I actually feel excited about the holidays this year. I also told him that I feel incredibly guilty for feeling excited. I mean, this will be my first holiday season without my mom. Shouldn’t I be consumed with grief and dreading it? How can I possibly … Continue reading Embracing Both Grief and Joy This Holiday Season
Little Things I Do Every Day to Cope With Grief
We moved into our new house six months ago today. My mom passed away six months ago tomorrow. It’s hard to believe that much time has gone by. It all feels like just yesterday. It has been a challenging six months, but I have gotten through it. Although there are still days when I feel … Continue reading Little Things I Do Every Day to Cope With Grief
Your Childhood Home Changes When One of Your Parents Dies
I spent the past week at my parents’ house helping my dad recover from his hip replacement surgery. While I was prepared to cook, clean, and do laundry for him, I was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that came with it. My dad does not have Alzheimer’s or dementia, but in some ways … Continue reading Your Childhood Home Changes When One of Your Parents Dies
Alzheimer’s Took My Mom’s Life. The Pandemic Took Her Funeral.
If you were only allowed to have ten people at your mother’s funeral, who would you pick? How would you decide? Could you decide at all? Imagine having to call those ten people to invite them to your mother’s funeral. Imagine the backlash you would receive from the family members who weren’t invited. Imagine there … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Took My Mom’s Life. The Pandemic Took Her Funeral.