About six or seven years ago, I was living far away from my parents while my husband attended flight school. I would stay at my parents’ house when I came home to visit every couple of months. One night during one of those visits, my parents had already gone to bed and I heard my … Continue reading My Mom Forgot Who I Was, But She Never Forgot My Love
Tag: caregiving
You Are Entitled to Your Anger, But You Don’t Have to Live In It
Last week, we got about 8-9 inches of snow. That might not seem like a lot depending on where you’re from, but it’s a significant amount for us. And since my husband was away, I had the pleasure of shoveling it all by myself. Despite all of my “Let It Snow” decor, I’m actually not … Continue reading You Are Entitled to Your Anger, But You Don’t Have to Live In It
Hardship Is Not a Competition
I often felt guilty complaining about my situation when I knew there were so many people who had it worse. At the same time, I often felt resentful of all the people I knew who had it better. What I failed to realize is that it’s not a competition. Caregiving is not a competition. Hardship … Continue reading Hardship Is Not a Competition
Once You’ve Seen Alzheimer’s Firsthand, You Will Never Unsee It
The other day, I was at the grocery store when I saw this couple shopping together. They looked to be somewhere in their sixties. Something about them caught my eye. I stopped what I was doing and started watching them, watching her. And I just knew. My eyes filled to the brim with tears, as … Continue reading Once You’ve Seen Alzheimer’s Firsthand, You Will Never Unsee It
Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
I spent a lot of time during my mom’s illness just wishing things could go back to the way they were. I mainly focused on what I had lost and I just wanted my mom to go back to the way she was before she got sick. At some point, it hit me. “Oh wait, … Continue reading Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss taking care of your loved one. That you’re going to miss feeding them and helping them use the bathroom. That you’re going to miss helping them stand up and pushing them down the street in their wheelchair. Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss the long, … Continue reading Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Scale Back Your Plans, But Don’t Just Give Up
In the fall of 2013, I emailed all of the women on my mom’s side of the family and told them I wanted to plan a trip to New York City that December. I wanted to take my mom to see the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center and the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. … Continue reading Scale Back Your Plans, But Don’t Just Give Up
When It’s Over, It’s Over
This is probably the most vulnerable and transparent thing I have ever said on this platform, so please be kind. When I was at my deepest, darkest, lowest point of my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s, I would actually get a little bit jealous when someone else’s loved one passed away. Not because I didn’t love … Continue reading When It’s Over, It’s Over
Caregiving Is Hard, But It’s Also Beautiful
Imagine being told the only way to end your suffering would be for your loved one to die. That is the sad reality Alzheimer’s families live with every day. Death is the only true escape for the suffering they endure and yet, they continue to show up to care for their loved one in hopes … Continue reading Caregiving Is Hard, But It’s Also Beautiful
How to Know When the Last Time Should Be the Last Time
There are many “last times” with my mom that I don’t remember at all, but I vividly remember the last time I took her to get her hair done. It was February 1, 2017 and the only reason I know the date is because I took this picture. As always, I went to my mom’s … Continue reading How to Know When the Last Time Should Be the Last Time
