I felt so guilty living my life while my mom was suffering from Alzheimer’s and my dad was overwhelmed with her care that I just simply stopped living my life. I still feel guilty that I didn’t have to take care of her from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to … Continue reading Punishing Yourself for Your Loved One’s Suffering Won’t Do Anyone Any Good
How many times have you heard someone say, “My loved one died. Well, she was sick and we knew it was coming, but still...”? Why do we feel the need to offer that explanation? Why do we feel the need to minimize our loss by saying that it was expected? Why do we diminish our … Continue reading We Need to Stop Minimizing the Grief of an Expected Loss
When I would tell someone my mom had Alzheimer’s, the first thing they usually asked was, “Does she know who you are?” There was a time when I could confidently answer, “Yes, she does.” People always seemed so relieved to hear that. “Oh, that’s good!” While it was good that my mom still knew who … Continue reading My Mom Didn’t Know Who I Was, But She Knew Me Better Than Anyone Else Ever Will
Early on in my mom’s Alzheimer’s, I would pick her up at her house and take her out somewhere. We would mostly go out to lunch or shopping, but sometimes we got our hair done or went to the movies. As much as I enjoyed spending time with my mom, I often found myself frustrated … Continue reading The Wake-Up Call I Needed About Being Patient With My Mom
Your decisions as a caregiver do not cause your loved one to decline. The disease causes your loved one to decline. We had a very hard time making certain decisions for my mom’s care. Looking back and reflecting on those decisions has allowed me to see that making those decisions was not the cause of … Continue reading Your Decisions As a Caregiver Do Not Cause Your Loved One to Decline. Alzheimer’s Does.
(The post below was written on May 15, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) On this day ten years ago, my mom was not only alive, but we didn’t even know she had Alzheimer’s yet. My husband and I were not even engaged yet, let alone married. We didn’t even own a house … Continue reading Isn’t Life Always Uncertain?
(The post below was written on May 14, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) I went to my parents’ house today to visit my dad and help out with a few things. While I was on my way, my sister texted me and asked if I could look for any of our Barbie … Continue reading A Final Love Note
(The post below was written on April 27, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) A lot of people have been asking about my dad and how he’s doing since my mom passed. I would say he’s doing ok. He’s really sad and he really misses my mom, but that’s to be expected. I … Continue reading My Dad Is Sad, But He Is OK
(The post below was written on March 6, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) When I pulled up to my mom’s house yesterday, I thought to myself, “This sucks.” I would give anything to walk in there and see her standing in the kitchen. I would give anything to walk in there and … Continue reading You’re Going to Miss This One Day
(The post below was written on January 20, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.) There has been a lot of change in the last two weeks or so. In short, we are beginning to prepare for the end. Then again, aren’t we always? It seemed as though my mom was plateauing for a … Continue reading Changes, Chaos, and Grief