I cried on my 30th birthday after I called my parents and neither one of them mentioned it. I was living far away at the time, so I couldn’t see them. And although my dad had texted me “Happy Birthday” that morning and sent me a card, I was crushed that neither one of them … Continue reading My First Birthday Without My Mom
Tag: Alzheimer’s
Once You’ve Seen Alzheimer’s Firsthand, You Will Never Unsee It
The other day, I was at the grocery store when I saw this couple shopping together. They looked to be somewhere in their sixties. Something about them caught my eye. I stopped what I was doing and started watching them, watching her. And I just knew. My eyes filled to the brim with tears, as … Continue reading Once You’ve Seen Alzheimer’s Firsthand, You Will Never Unsee It
Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
I spent a lot of time during my mom’s illness just wishing things could go back to the way they were. I mainly focused on what I had lost and I just wanted my mom to go back to the way she was before she got sick. At some point, it hit me. “Oh wait, … Continue reading Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
Do you ever notice how your Christmas tree looks a little different after Christmas Day? Do you ever notice how the Christmas lights look a little dimmer once the holidays have passed? Almost like they’ve lost their magic now that all the excitement is over. Do you ever notice how the new calendar year never … Continue reading What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
On this day last year, my husband and I left Florida to move back closer to home. Florida never felt like home to me and I desperately wanted to be closer to my mom again. I was miserable and depressed the entire time we lived there. I basically just lived one visit home to the … Continue reading I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss taking care of your loved one. That you’re going to miss feeding them and helping them use the bathroom. That you’re going to miss helping them stand up and pushing them down the street in their wheelchair. Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss the long, … Continue reading Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Scale Back Your Plans, But Don’t Just Give Up
In the fall of 2013, I emailed all of the women on my mom’s side of the family and told them I wanted to plan a trip to New York City that December. I wanted to take my mom to see the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center and the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. … Continue reading Scale Back Your Plans, But Don’t Just Give Up
Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to have one of our favorite home videos converted to a DVD to give to my dad and my sister for Christmas. I picked it up last week when it was ready and couldn’t wait to watch it later that night while my husband was at work. “Christmas … Continue reading Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
We Can Feel Everything All At Once
One thing I have learned from my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s is that we have the ability to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time. We can feel both happy and sad. We can feel both excitement and dread. We can feel both joy and pain. We can feel both gratitude and grief. And … Continue reading We Can Feel Everything All At Once
