I spent a lot of time during my mom’s illness just wishing things could go back to the way they were. I mainly focused on what I had lost and I just wanted my mom to go back to the way she was before she got sick. At some point, it hit me. “Oh wait, … Continue reading Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
Tag: Alzheimer’s death
This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
On this day last year, my husband and I left Florida to move back closer to home. Florida never felt like home to me and I desperately wanted to be closer to my mom again. I was miserable and depressed the entire time we lived there. I basically just lived one visit home to the … Continue reading I’m So Glad I Made It Home for My Last Christmas With My Mom
Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss taking care of your loved one. That you’re going to miss feeding them and helping them use the bathroom. That you’re going to miss helping them stand up and pushing them down the street in their wheelchair. Nobody tells you that you’re going to miss the long, … Continue reading Nobody Tells You That You’re Going to Miss the Hard Days, Too
Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to have one of our favorite home videos converted to a DVD to give to my dad and my sister for Christmas. I picked it up last week when it was ready and couldn’t wait to watch it later that night while my husband was at work. “Christmas … Continue reading Watching A Home Video Reminded Me Of What I Have Lost
We Can Feel Everything All At Once
One thing I have learned from my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s is that we have the ability to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time. We can feel both happy and sad. We can feel both excitement and dread. We can feel both joy and pain. We can feel both gratitude and grief. And … Continue reading We Can Feel Everything All At Once
My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday
Nothing has taught me more about the passage of time than my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s. Over the past ten years, I have been amazed by time’s ability to both stand still and fly by at the exact same time. I always thought about that saying, “The days are long, but the years are short.” … Continue reading My Mom Died Eight Months Ago, But It Still Feels Like Yesterday
When It’s Over, It’s Over
This is probably the most vulnerable and transparent thing I have ever said on this platform, so please be kind. When I was at my deepest, darkest, lowest point of my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s, I would actually get a little bit jealous when someone else’s loved one passed away. Not because I didn’t love … Continue reading When It’s Over, It’s Over
My Mom’s World Got Bigger When She Died
After my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, her world became increasingly smaller. It started with losing her ability to drive. She could no longer go out anywhere unless someone else was able to take her. Since my dad was still working full-time, she would have to wait until he got home from work or had … Continue reading My Mom’s World Got Bigger When She Died
I Can’t Stop Thinking About Death Since My Mom Died
I often wonder if the average person thinks about death as often as I do. If someone doesn’t answer the phone or respond to a text right away, I think they must have died. If one of my dogs starts coughing or making a weird noise, I think they must be dying. I am well-aware … Continue reading I Can’t Stop Thinking About Death Since My Mom Died