On the First Anniversary of My Mom’s Death

One year.

It doesn’t seem possible.

I’ve learned so much since the day you died.

I’ve grown so much, too.

I’ve learned to cherish the little things that bring me joy, but also not to sweat the small stuff.

I’ve learned that life is short and precious and best spent pouring love into those you care about most in the world.

I’ve learned that the best way to keep your spirit and memory alive is to be the best parts of you — all the things I loved about you the most.

I’ve learned that my grief will never go away. It’s not about getting over it or moving past it, but moving forward to create a new life for myself.

I’ve learned that the sun shines brighter on the other side of the darkness and the sky looks bluer than it ever has once the rain finally stops falling.

I’ve learned that death is really just a part of life. You can’t numb yourself to it or you will numb yourself to all of the good stuff, too.

And perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned not to take anything or anyone for granted.

I am stronger, wiser, more resilient, and more grateful because of what I’ve been through, because of what I’ve lost.

Although I miss you terribly and I always will, I also know that you’re not really gone.

Today marks one year without you here on this earth, but I’ll never go one minute without you in my heart.

I am not motherless.

My mother simply lives in my heart now.

Always with me.

Always by my side.

Never far enough that I can’t reach you.

You are everywhere.

You are in everything that I do.

And I will do my best to go on living, honoring you every step of the way.

On the first anniversary of my mom’s death.

2 thoughts on “On the First Anniversary of My Mom’s Death

  1. Thank you for your beautiful words. This is my first day to read your notes and have just begun reading your book. I would say I am so happy to have found your inspiration, but……so sorry for the loss of your Mother in person. But I love that you honor and cherish your memories of her. The person I am watching slide down the slippery slope is my husband of nearly 60 years, our anniversary is Cinco de Mayo! Our journey was identified in about 2016, but only diagnosed last December, he has FTD, not Alzheimer’s……but the results will be the same. Today he could not remember how to brush his teeth! But some days he makes me laugh so hard I get tears in my eyes. The days he asks how long I have been in our home, the tears of sorrow hide under the rim of my glasses.

    I don’t know how far we have yet to travel this new and different road, but I will take your words with me as a little light when it gets too dark. Many blessings to you, your Dad and your Sister..and all your other family members! I know your inspiration will be a message of peace to so many.

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