One thing I have learned from my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s is that we have the ability to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time.
We can feel both happy and sad.
We can feel both excitement and dread.
We can feel both joy and pain.
We can feel both gratitude and grief.
And we can be okay and not okay at the exact same time.
This idea of duality is especially true for me this time of year.
I can be happy to spend time with my family this holiday season and still be sad that my mom isn’t here with us.
I can be excited about Christmas and still be dreading the first one without my mom.
I can feel joy in my heart and still feel pain as the cracks widen.
I can be grateful for all the memories I have with my mom and still be brought to my knees with grief when I think of them.
I can be okay and not okay at the exact same time.
It brings me some peace and comfort knowing I don’t have to choose one emotion and betray another. I can be true to both.
I can honor all of the many conflicting emotions in my heart this holiday season. I can feel them all at the exact same time.
And so can you.
Happy Holidays, friends.
We’re all going to be okay.
And if we’re not, then that’s okay, too.
We can be both.
At the exact same time.