Dear Alzheimer’s Caregiver, Your Feelings Are Normal

Dear Alzheimer’s caregiver, I want you to know something.

Whatever you’re feeling right now—however you’ve felt in the past—it’s all completely normal.

Your feelings are completely normal.

Do you feel sad, angry, depressed, isolated, or overwhelmed? Do you feel helpless, hopeless, lost, and alone? Maybe you feel happy about something else going on in your life or hopeful about what lies ahead once this journey is over. Maybe that also makes you feel guilty.

It’s all normal. It’s all okay.

Do you resent your loved one because you’re taking care of them instead of having kids, a career, or enjoying your retirement? Do you resent your other family members for continuing on with their lives and not helping out more? Do you wish you could just pack up and run away from it all, never looking back?

It’s all normal. It’s all okay.

Are you jealous of your friends because they still get to have their loved one? Do you look at the pictures they post with their loved one and think to yourself “must be nice”? Do you hate them sometimes for complaining to you about their loved one, when you’re grieving the loss of your own?

It’s all normal. It’s all okay.

Do you ever find yourself wishing that your loved one would pass so that this chapter of your life could finally come to a close? Do you feel a small tinge of jealousy when you hear that someone else’s loved one has passed because that means their dance with this devil has ended?

It’s all normal. It’s all okay.

I firmly believe that your day of happiness and sunshine and peace will come. There will be light coming out of this darkness. The rain will stop, the winds will calm, and the clouds will break. There will be a rainbow after this storm.

But until then, it’s normal to feel whatever you’re feeling.

You’re allowed to feel as bad as you want. You’re allowed to ugly cry with puffy eyes and snot pouring out of your nose. You’re allowed to wipe your nose on your own shirt or the shirt of anyone who tries to comfort you.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you how to feel.

Don’t let them discredit what’s in your heart and your soul.

Your day will come. You will be unburdened.

But until then, don’t be ashamed to feel how you feel. Your feelings are validated.

It’s all normal. It’s all okay.

Love,

Someone who’s been there

*If this post resonated with you, you should check out my mentoring services for Alzheimer’s daughters.

**If you liked this post, you will love my book “When Only Love Remains: Surviving My Mom’s Battle with Early Onset Alzheimer’s.” It’s available on all Amazon marketplaces.