“You’re so strong.” I hear this so often from people and I think the same thing every time. “If they only knew...” If they only knew I cried myself to sleep last night. If they only knew I sobbed into a bowl of cereal for dinner. If they only knew I woke up at the … Continue reading Maybe Strength Is Found in the Dark
Author: Lauren Dykovitz
Lauren Dykovitz lives in New Jersey with her husband and two black labs, Oakley and Lucy. Lauren is a writer, wife, dog mom, sister, aunt, and Alzheimer's daughter. Aside from writing her own blog, Lauren has been a contributing writer to several other websites and blogs. Lauren also self-published her first book, "Learning to Weather the Storm: A Story of Life, Love, and Alzheimer's." It is available on Amazon.
Grief Shows Up When You Least Expect It
A few weeks ago, I was at Old Navy shopping for some new clothes. I had a gift card that had been burning a hole in my wallet for months, so I finally decided to use it. I was about halfway through the women’s section, carrying a huge pile of clothes over my arm, mindlessly … Continue reading Grief Shows Up When You Least Expect It
Forgive Yourself, You’re Doing the Best You Can
I have always hated this picture. I look like I’m disgusted with my mom. I look like I’m embarrassed and ashamed of her. I look like I don’t want anything to do with her. I remember that I didn’t really want to touch her because she was sweaty from dancing by herself all … Continue reading Forgive Yourself, You’re Doing the Best You Can
How to Love an Alzheimer’s Daughter
My husband recently told me that he doesn’t remember what I was like before my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I guess that’s fair. We only started dating one year before I started noticing changes in my mom and only two years before she was officially diagnosed. We actually got engaged the same month my … Continue reading How to Love an Alzheimer’s Daughter
I Just Want to Make My Mom Proud
I am just like my mom. The older I get, the more I realize this. My mom has a big heart. She always thinks about other people’s feelings first. She always puts other people’s needs before her own. She always gives her all for the people she loves, even when she doesn’t get it in … Continue reading I Just Want to Make My Mom Proud
Alzheimer’s Can’t Take Away Your Love
With this ring... This is my mom’s wedding ring. I saw it sitting on her dresser the last time I went home and it stopped me in my tracks. She hasn’t been able to wear it in years. She would play with it, taking it on and off her finger, and my dad was afraid … Continue reading Alzheimer’s Can’t Take Away Your Love
You Don’t Have to Suffer in Silence
When I was 12 years old, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was getting ready for basketball practice one night, when I heard her whispering on the phone to my Aunt Diane. It sounded like something was going on, but she was trying to hide it. I asked her what she was talking … Continue reading You Don’t Have to Suffer in Silence
My Mom Knows Me
When I tell someone my mom has Alzheimer’s, the first thing they usually ask is, “Does she know who you are?” There was a time when I could confidently answer, “Yes, she does.” People always seemed so relieved to hear that. “Oh, that’s good!” While it was good that my mom still knew who I … Continue reading My Mom Knows Me
Here’s Why You Should Start a Gratitude Journal
For those who don’t already know, I make a gratitude list after every FaceTime call with my mom and dad. I used to dread FaceTiming with them and I would hang up feeling so depressed. It made me not want to FaceTime with them. I would avoid it at all costs. I knew I had … Continue reading Here’s Why You Should Start a Gratitude Journal
Take the Picture
When my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I didn’t know that she would eventually stop looking at the camera. Not because she didn’t want her picture taken, but because she had no idea what that meant. I didn’t know that she would have a distant look in her eyes, that she would no longer look … Continue reading Take the Picture
