About six or seven years ago, I was living far away from my parents while my husband attended flight school. I would stay at my parents’ house when I came home to visit every couple of months. One night during one of those visits, my parents had already gone to bed and I heard my … Continue reading My Mom Forgot Who I Was, But She Never Forgot My Love
Author: Lauren Dykovitz
You Are Entitled to Your Anger, But You Don’t Have to Live In It
Last week, we got about 8-9 inches of snow. That might not seem like a lot depending on where you’re from, but it’s a significant amount for us. And since my husband was away, I had the pleasure of shoveling it all by myself. Despite all of my “Let It Snow” decor, I’m actually not … Continue reading You Are Entitled to Your Anger, But You Don’t Have to Live In It
My Mom Is Still With Me
A few years ago, I took a few of my mom’s holiday decorations to put out at my house. This was my mom’s musical snowman figurine. She put it out every Christmas. I remember it well from when I was growing up and it’s in the background of many old family photos. It has to … Continue reading My Mom Is Still With Me
Hardship Is Not a Competition
I often felt guilty complaining about my situation when I knew there were so many people who had it worse. At the same time, I often felt resentful of all the people I knew who had it better. What I failed to realize is that it’s not a competition. Caregiving is not a competition. Hardship … Continue reading Hardship Is Not a Competition
My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
(This post was written on January 24, 2021.) Today is my mom’s birthday. It’s the first one since she died. She would have been 73 today. We had a little birthday party for her yesterday with party hats and horns and a carrot cake, which was my mom’s favorite. It was a nice day, but … Continue reading My Mom’s Birthday Party Wasn’t For Her This Year — It Was For Us
My First Birthday Without My Mom
I cried on my 30th birthday after I called my parents and neither one of them mentioned it. I was living far away at the time, so I couldn’t see them. And although my dad had texted me “Happy Birthday” that morning and sent me a card, I was crushed that neither one of them … Continue reading My First Birthday Without My Mom
Once You’ve Seen Alzheimer’s Firsthand, You Will Never Unsee It
The other day, I was at the grocery store when I saw this couple shopping together. They looked to be somewhere in their sixties. Something about them caught my eye. I stopped what I was doing and started watching them, watching her. And I just knew. My eyes filled to the brim with tears, as … Continue reading Once You’ve Seen Alzheimer’s Firsthand, You Will Never Unsee It
Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
I spent a lot of time during my mom’s illness just wishing things could go back to the way they were. I mainly focused on what I had lost and I just wanted my mom to go back to the way she was before she got sick. At some point, it hit me. “Oh wait, … Continue reading Stop Wasting Precious Time Wishing You Could Go Back to the Way Things Were
What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
Do you ever notice how your Christmas tree looks a little different after Christmas Day? Do you ever notice how the Christmas lights look a little dimmer once the holidays have passed? Almost like they’ve lost their magic now that all the excitement is over. Do you ever notice how the new calendar year never … Continue reading What If Every Day Held the Magic of Christmas Eve?
This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me
2020 has been one of the worst years of my life, but it has also been one of the best years. My mom died this year and I have spent the last nine months grieving during a global pandemic, which has been pretty awful. Because of said pandemic, we were unable to have a real … Continue reading This Year Has Been Hard, But I’m Grateful For What It’s Given Me