I wrote the poem in the photo below and gave it to my mom for Christmas when I was in 8th grade. She must have loved it because she hung it up on the wall in the downstairs hallway.
It’s still there today.
My biggest fear has always been that my mom didn’t know how much I loved her before she got sick. I often gave her a hard time during my teens and early twenties. I never really appreciated her or told her how much I loved her.
I was only 25 when my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s—just a few short years after emerging out of those stubborn, selfish, know-it-all years. I always worry that it wasn’t enough time for me to make it up to her—to show her how much I really cared about her.
It’s one of my biggest regrets.
Seeing this poem still hanging on the wall in her home after all these years—even now that she’s gone—gives me hope.
I hope she knew back then how much I loved her.
If she ever doubted it, I hope she stopped to read this poem as she passed it in the hall.
And more than anything, I hope I did enough to show her how much I loved her later on—after she got sick. I hope I more than made it up to her.
But even as I write these words, I can hear my mom saying, “I know. I love you, too, sweetheart.”
And I know that somehow she just knew. She always did.
I can’t go back and change the past, but I can continue to love and appreciate her in the future.
Although she is gone, our love still remains.
It always will.
Because not even Alzheimer’s or death can take that away from us.
Love always remains.
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**If you liked this post, you would love my book “When Only Love Remains: Surviving My Mom’s Battle with Early Onset Alzheimer’s.” It’s available on all Amazon marketplaces.