We moved into our new house six months ago today.
My mom passed away six months ago tomorrow.
It’s hard to believe that much time has gone by.
It all feels like just yesterday.
It has been a challenging six months, but I have gotten through it. Although there are still days when I feel really down, there are many days when I feel up, or at least on my way up.
As many of you know, I ordered this pillow with my mom’s picture on it shortly after she died. I found a place for it in this chair, which faces a large window at the front of our house. I don’t even care that it doesn’t match. I want her to have a nice view.
Every morning I go into this room to open the blinds and let the sunlight pour into the room. Then I walk over to this chair, kiss my mom’s cheek, and say, “Good morning, Mom. I love you. I miss you.” And I usually tell her something about the day or the weather or whatever.
I do this every single morning without giving it much thought.
I never knew until recently that this is considered a ritual. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and listening about grief and ways to cope. As I recently learned, rituals are an important and helpful way to deal with grief.
Without even knowing it, I’ve been performing this ritual every day and I have to say, it’s helped immensely. It has given my mom a presence in my life and in my new home, one which is devoid of memories of her.
My mom has never stepped foot into this house and yet, she has become a huge part of it. Her presence is everywhere.
Another thing I do is read the daily passage in my daily meditations for grief book. It amazes me how often the passage aligns with exactly what I’m thinking and feeling. For the last couple of months, I haven’t felt the need to read it every day, but I can pick it up whenever I want to, turn to today’s date, and read.
And of course, I write about it.
Even if you don’t consider yourself a writer, I would encourage everyone to get a notebook and start writing about your grief, for the living or the dead. You don’t ever have to share it with anyone, but writing it down on paper is extremely therapeutic.
I am far from an expert on dealing with grief, but these are the little things I do to cope with it. I hope this helps anyone who is going through a dark time.
Grief never goes away, but it does get better. You just have to work at it.