My Dad Is Sad, But He Is OK

(The post below was written on April 27, 2020. My mom passed on April 4, 2020.)

A lot of people have been asking about my dad and how he’s doing since my mom passed.

I would say he’s doing ok. He’s really sad and he really misses my mom, but that’s to be expected. I would be more concerned if he wasn’t feeling that way.

My mom and dad were high school sweethearts. They have been married for almost 52 years. Of course he’s going to be really sad and miss her tremendously.

But, I also see a little bit of relief in that she’s no longer suffering. She’s finally at rest. I also see a little bit of hope in that he will be able to spend more time with his family and granddaughters (well, once this whole pandemic thing is over).

As they say, grief comes in waves. Some days he’s treading water, maybe even walking along the shore, and other days he’s drowning. That’s normal. That’s how I feel, too.

One thing I’ve learned from my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s is patience. I will be patient with his grief, as well as with my own. I will hold his breaking, bleeding heart and sit with him in his brokenness, in his emptiness. We will take turns lifting each other up and trudging forward with our grief.

Because deep grief simply means deep love. We loved hard, so we will grieve hard.

Our grief will never leave us, but neither will my mom. She is always with us.

And we will never leave each other. Hand in hand, through the fog, until we all come out the other side.

My dad and me.

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